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When Rachel turns 30, the gang reminisces about their 30th birthdays. While trying to patch things up with Ursula, Phoebe discovers that she is 31. Ross buys a sports car to look cool. Monica gets drunk in front of her parents. Rachel breaks up with Tag because she is looking for commitment, while he is not.

In an attempt to make up for her slow massage business, Phoebe takes a job as a telemarketer for an office supply company. When her first call is to a despondent office manager, she takes it upon herself to convince him to not kill himself. Monica and Ross discover that their parents are selling their house. When they go to collect their stuff, they find that Mr. Gellar used Monica's boxes to stop flood water from getting to his Porche and all her things are ruined. While attempting to re-arrange the furniture, Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair (that he's named Rosita).

Ross assembles the gang on the roof to watch a meteor shower. They all decide to leave, however. Ross becomes trapped on the roof with Joey; the two try to escape using the fire escape. Rachel and Tag argue over which one of them forgot to send a package at work. Phoebe's fire alarm won't stop beeping. Chandler and Monica can't seem to fall asleep together, so they keep waking each other up.

Phoebe gets angry with Joey when he blows off dinner with her for a date. The tables are turned however when her scientist boyfriend David returns to town for one night--the same night when she's scheduled to go to dinner with Joey. Monica is upset by her lack of invitation to a cousin's wedding, especially when she finds out that Ross was invited "with guest". She convinces Ross to take her as his guest, only to find that the cousin had a good reason to not invite her--she had previously slept with the groom. Chandler accidentally gets a cheesecake delivered that was intended for another apartment. When he and Rachel start eating it, they are unable to stop and refuse to give it back. In fact, the cheesecake is so good, they take the replacement delivery as well.

Ross's plans to teach Ben about Hanukkah are continually thwarted when the young boy can't get his mind off of Santa. Phoebe prepares to move back into her refurbished apartment, with or without Rachel. However, she'll stop at nothing to get Rachel to go with her, including buying Joey a drum set. Monica is mystified by Chandler's inability to tip properly.

When Phoebe tells the gang about how she was too poor to have a bike as a child, Ross goes out and buys her one. Phoebe loves the bike but the gang soon discovers that she doesn't know how to ride a bike. Ross decides to teach her. Rachel writes a playful work evaluation of Tag that he accidentally turns in to human resources. Rachel fears for her job but Tag is able to cover by claiming that he wrote the review himself as a joke. Monica decides to make candy and leave it outside her door as a way to meet the neighbors. The candy is a huge hit and people start dropping by at all hours to get more. Eventually Chandler convinces her that she's trying to buy the friendship of the neighbors and it's not working since they love the candy but don't even know her name.

Ross drives himself insane when he can't name all 50 states in a simple game. Tag joins the gang for Thanksgiving dinner, where Joey accidentally spills the beans about Rachel's crush on him. Phoebe sneaks a dog into the apartment, making Chandler extremely nervous.

Rachel and Phoebe convince Joey to keep dating a girl that they are like. However, the girls must decide whether to tell Joey when they find out that she's not interested in a serious relationship with him. Monica unintentionally invites Janice to her wedding and she and Chandler are unable to tactfully uninvite her. Ross is proud to find his thesis in the library but gets upset when he discovers it is in a section that is so deserted that students go there to make out.

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid-of-honor. Joey and Ross find themselves in awkward positions after a nap. Monica insists that Chandler apologize to an ex-girlfriend for dumping her because of a weight gain.

While taking an engagement picture for himself and Monica, Chandler cannot make anything but a weird face. Rachel enlists Joey to take Tag out for a night on the town. Phoebe and Ross date a couple in the middle of a divorce.