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Rachel and Monica compete for the affections of Jean-Claude Van Damme after meeting him on a movie set. Chandler meets a former schoolmate, a makeup artist, who seems to have the hots for him. An excited Joey gets a role as an extra in the movie and Ross and Marcel go on a whirlwind tour of the city.

Ross goes to visit Marcel while on a trip to California, and finds that the monkey is working in commercials. Joey gets his first fan letter and ends up dating the woman, who turns out to be a stalker who thinks that the happenings on Days of Our Lives are real. Phoebe is asked to sing for the children at the library, but their parents are horrified by her lyrics.

Ross's ex and her lesbian lover tie the knot, providing Monica with a job: catering the wedding. Phoebe is possessed by the spirit of an eighty-two year old massage client who dies in the middle of a session. Mrs. Adelman cannot depart until she's "seen everything" (needless to say, her spirit departs after the lesbian wedding). And Rachel's mom comes to visit and drops a bombshell: she's getting divorced from Rachel's dad.

Monica gets back together with Fun Bobby, but discovers that when he's not drinking, he's not so fun. Joey wins the role of Dr. Drake Ramoray, a neurosurgeon, on Days of Our Lives. And Rachel, dating a guy named Russ, can't see his uncanny resemblance to Ross.

It's Christmas time and Monica tries tipping with cookies, rather than cash, with mixed results. Phoebe learns that the guy in the picture frames her grandmother keeps around is not her father and tries to track down her real father. And Chandler and Joey wait too late to shop for presents.

Ross must choose between Rachel and Julie and enlists Joey and Chandler's help in making a list of the pros and cons of each. Big mistake. Meanwhile, Monica gets a job making food with a synthetic chocolate substitute called Mockolate.

A drunken Rachel is persuaded to call Ross and reveals her feelings for him on his answering machine. And when he finds out, he must make the choice between her and Julie. Meanwhile, Monica finds work as Chandler's personal trainer and Phoebe has a hard time trying to get her boyfriend to have sex with her.

Chandler and Joey baby-sit Ross's son Ben and accidentally lose him while scoping babes on a bus. Phoebe loses her Central Perk singing gig to a professional singer. And Ross has an allergic reaction to Monica's kiwi-lime pie.

When a sexy woman calls the wrong number, Chandler seeks to make the most of the situation. And income issues divide the friends: the well-off Ross, Chandler and Monica versus the not-so-well-off Phoebe, Rachel and Joey. This all changes, however, when Monica is accused of taking kickbacks and fired.

The gang is amazed to learn that Phoebe married a gay Canadian ice dancer to help him get his green card. And Ross seeks relationship advice from Rachel after revealing that he and Julie have yet to consummate their relationship.