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Monica and Chandler try to prove that they're more hot and heavy than Phoebe and Gary. Rachel accidentally kisses her job interviewer at Ralph Lauren. Joey tries to meet a girl living in Ross's building, but Ross meets her first.

Joey starts dating Katie, a little girl who packs a mean punch. When Ross refuses to contribute to the retirement fund of the building's maintenance man, he winds up offending everyone in the building.

When the friends discover that Ugly Naked Guy is moving out of his apartment, Ross leaps at the opportunity to get his own place again. Phoebe finds out about Monica and Chandler's relationship, and tries to get them to reveal the truth by seducing Chandler.

Monica gives Chandler a painful massage. Joey wears a top hat for an audition. A disgusted Rachel offers to dress him. Phoebe's grandmother died. Rachel hooks Joey up with a "shoulder bag". Phoebe tells Ursula, who is disinterested. At the memorial service, Phoebe meets her father, who plays it off and runs away. At his audition, Joey's bag distracts the casting people. Phoebe and her father talk at Central Perk.

Monica begins to hang out with Chandler during his work functions, since they don't have to keep their relationship a secret among his coworkers. However, she learns that Chandler has a second, more annoying personality when he's around his boss. Meanwhile, Ross learns that Emily is getting remarried and in his grief hooks up with an old nemesis of the gang: Janice.

With the New Year, the friends make New Year's resolutions. Ross resolves to try a new thing every day. Chandler resolves to not make fun of his friends for a week. Joey resolves to learn how to play the guitar, with Phoebe as his teacher. Rachel resolves to give up gossiping. Chandler nearly goes insane holding it all in. Ross is stuck in a sticky situation at his date's apartment, in constricting and hot leather pants. Rachel discovers a big secret (Monica and Chandler) that threatens to spoil her resolution.

Joey teaches Ross how to be unemployed. Phoebe is working for the Salvation Army during the holidays. Monica is tired of Rachel's obsessing about Danny and asks him to go out with her. Ross convinces Joey to write a play about himself. Phoebe is distressed after finding out that New Yorkers are mean. Rachel meets Danny's sister and is dismayed when the two seem a little too playful. Phoebe vows a return to "Street Phoebe."

Joey starts to get uncomfortable with protecting Monica and Chandler's secret, especially when it places him in embarrassing situations with the rest of the group. Meanwhile, Ross becomes enraged at work when someone swipes his turkey sandwich.

Although the Thanksgiving meal is great, Chandler is still moody over his parent's divorce during the holiday when he was a boy and Ross is depressed about his second divorce. The group reminisces about their worst Thanksgivings in order to cheer them up, and Monica's worst memory is revealed.

Chandler and Joey let Ross move in with them once his marriage to Emily falls apart. Meanwhile, Phoebe gets involved with the local health inspector and Rachel becomes convinced that Danny is trying to seduce her with mind games.